There are times I yearn for the days of awkwardly applied corpse-paint and douche-inspired Fred Durst caps (not very often). Ever since bands like Motionless In White, Black Veil Brides, and the statutory connoisseurs, Blood On The Dance Floor have begun to peacock their way onto the scene, something just feels like it has gone awry. This duo seems more preoccupied with wearing the most tight-fitting leather pants, pitifully-applied makeup, and obnoxious contact lenses, than making sure there’s any substance or subtlety to their music. Which leads us to the duo’s third full-length, “Evolution“, which is by far the best titled (the other two being 2010′s “Epic” and the sophomore album, “All The Rage”). I honestly don’t mind the anti-bullying message that many of the bands i mentioned above aspire to (ala BOTD’s album opener, “Rise And Shine”), but backing that message with repeated choruses of snooze-inducing lyrics and instruments with about as much complexity as a tub of play-doh, makes it hard for people to care about what you want to get across.
This time around, Blood On The Dance Floor feel like pre-teen versions of artists like Breathe Carolina and 3Oh!3, but instead of talking about parties, booze, and bitches, they regale us with exaggerated examples of bullying and naive puppy-love that seems to be a rising epidemic in today’s youth. The second of which leads to humorous moments on “Evolution” where the guys will spout off some very positive (yet very naive) lyrics such as “Take love and multiply it by infinity, until you get into the depths of forever. Then you would still only have a glimpse of how i feel for you” from the trancey, 808-backed “Frankenstein + The Bride.” The duo manages to break up things and be so original with the addition of dubstep-aided rap breaks, like in the almost seizure-causing 180 bpm song “Fantasyland.”
There was one track that made me chuckle, which happened to be the Isanyoneup.com inspired song “Revenge Porn.” The now-defunct site makes perfect cannon fodder for Dahvie and Jayy who tackle the subject with these words of wisdom “A bright idea popped in my head, figured out a way to get even instead. Found a website called i-a-u and guess what honey! i’m gonna post your n00dz.” There is something just so sarcastically wonderful and self-hate inducing about liking something from this band, it’s best I explain it to my shrink at our next appointment then bother you with it here. The album strings along poppy one-off tracks that never seem to grab my attention, with the exception of the Joel Madden feature on “Incomplete And All Alone.” Good Charlotte must have fallen on hard times.
The album’s word-spoken interludes “Mother Earth,” “Rampage Of Love,” and “Love Is The Message,” sound like delusional rantings from a drugged, eccentric Michael Jackson (ironic seeing where the band’s name comes from) and while I’m sure the may sound like truer words have never been spoken to all the 14 and 15 year olds listening, it just lacks honesty and reality. Let’s not baby our children, please. When I was 14 I was listening to Snapcase and Bodyjar, with glimpses of the Wu-Tang.
Either way, positive and unrealistic messages may appeal to those still wondering what their parents are making for dinner, but Blood On The Dance Floor falls flat when it comes to looking for genuine substance. Everything is recycled trance beats, inherited styles (ala 3Oh!3), and meandering interludes. Why review something that looks like an easy target you ask? It’s because there has got to be a better way to get the youth to know they aren’t alone in this world and to be confident enough to be free from bullying and depression, than listening to someone with a purple studded jacket and tiger whisker face paint. If you are a fan reading this, do yourself a favor and pick up a less offensive choice, Electric Valentine‘s “Automatic.“ [Staff]
Score: 1 (out of 5)
Release Date: June 19th, 2012
Record Label: Dark Fantasy Records
Genre: Electro Rock
RIYL: Breathe Carolina, Jeffree Star, 3Oh!3
1. Rise & Shine!
3. Law of Love
4. Frankenstein + The Bride Feat. Haley Rose
6. Revenge Porn
8. Hollywood Tragedy
9. Rampage Of Love
10. The Last Dance
11. Incomplete and All Alone Feat. Joel Madden
12. Deja Vu
13. You Are The Heart
14. The Right To Love
16. Mother Earth
17. Love Conquers All
18. Love is the Message
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